Monday, May 29, 2006

Vegetarian Smackdown

Dear Madrone, My in laws don't eat meat. I don't mind that. I make them special dishes, no meat at all, tasty things, lots of eggplant, lasagne all cheese, you name it. But that doesn't satisfy them, because they roll the eye and make it their business to inquire after my cholesterol and blood pressure and other items that are none of their business, but they are trying to be helpful. I don't think they mean to be rude, but it feels that way. What do I do, my spouse is not a vegetarian, but he loves his parents. As he should. I am beginning to become aggravated, but I feel I can't say anythng that would make things better not worse. Carnivorous, Carnarsie

Dear Carn, You are subject to conflicting rules. You can't get in between someone and his mother, and you can't pretend things are nice when they are not. The first course of action is to talk to your spouse about how you feel, but the way you put it is crucial. You can't say I think your family is crazy, why do I have to put up with them? Because he is putting up with your family, trust me, I don't even have to know the details, that's how it is. If that doesn't bring you satisfaction, and you still are having agita, you can use the Japanese Thumbtrap approach, which I will explain in greater detail, tomorrow. God Bless, Donna